What's With The Kissing?
by inkywings
Summary: Luffy sees two people in town kissing. So he asks his crew what the whole kissing deal is, and Zoro has an... intereting way to show him. Shounen-ai one-shot


Me: Well, my friend Digital liked the plot for this short fic so I think you  
guys may like it too. If not, feel free to throw large flaming objects at   
me!

Digi: (does happy dance of joy in the background)

_In Town_

It was a bright and sunny day, perfect day for adventures! Or swimming! Or eating some meat! Or just hanging out with your friends... or better yet! Eating meat WITH your friends!

Yes, Luffy lived the good life! Especially on days like these. He could do what he wanted, no time to get up (not like he ever went out of his way to get up early anyway), no annoying bastards to stop him from eating his meat, and it was nice outside! Luffy could defiantly understand people going out to do something fun today.

But what he saw seeing did not look like fun at all.

He was perched on top of a wooden railing outside a bar. He was looking around for something to do, under the strict wrath of Nami if he started a fight. Again. But after finding nothing to do, he just settled down here to watch the clouds go by.

And then he saw these two people.

He'd seen people hugging each other before. Nami hugged Sanji when he did her a particularly good and/or painful task. But these two were hugging each other and had their faces pressed up against each others. It looked kind of hard to breath.

Luffy tilted his head to the side for a better view. Nope, still looked hard to breath. And what was that... those pink things? Eww... were they tongues? YUCK! They had their tongues in each others mouths!

"Yuck," Luffy said in disgust, sticking his tongue out to emphasize the statement. That's when he heard the noises. The woman was moaning... oh no, was she in pain?

"Hey, Mister, LEAVE THAT LADY ALONE!" Luffy shouted with a look of anger on his face as his arm shot out, hand curled into a fist as it collided with the side of the man's face.

"Are you okay, Miss?' Luffy asked, ignoring the fact that the guy he had just punched had slammed into some nearby barrels and that the woman had covered her mouth in shock. "Did he hurt you?"

"He wasn't hurting me!" she exclaimed. "We were just... just..."

Luffy tilted his head to the side. "Just what? It looked like he was suffocating you or something. I can send him flying with a kick if you want!"

"No, trust me, you've done enough!" she assured him, rushing off to the fallen man.

"Sheesh, what's their problem?" Luffy huffed. "This sure is a strange town."

The Going Merry an Hour Later

"Nami, hey, Nami!"

Nami looked up from the map she was pouring over to the captain who was running towards her with a big grin on his face.

"Hmm, what is it, Luffy?" she asked. It was probably something stupid. He probably saw a seagull that looked more like a turkey to him.

"I wanna ask you something!" he said, sitting cross-legged on her desk so she had no choice but to pay attention to him rather then her maps.

She sighed. "Go on, ask away."

"Well, I saw these two people in the town," he explained. "And this one man was choking the lady with his mouth!"

Nami raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"The guy had his mouth on hers and she sounded like she was in pain!" Luffy went on.

Nami laughed. "Ohh, you mean they were kissing?"

"They were what?" Luffy asked, cocking his head to the side.

"They were kissing," Nami repeated. "Two people do it with each other, usually a boy and a girl."

"But why!" Luffy asked as if Nami had missed the entire point. "It's so stupid! AND it looked yucky!"

"I guess to them it wasn't," Nami said with a shrug, returning to her map. "If you want to know more, then go ask Sanji. I'm sure he knows all about it."

"Fine," Luffy huffed. "You may be good at maps and stuff, Nami, but you're bad at explaining other... stuff."

"Yes, I guess I am," Nami laughed, drawing another line across the paper.

_Kitchen_

Sanji was calmly cutting down some leeks at a lightning fast speed, stopping after a few seconds sot dump them in a large boiling pot before repeating the process over again.

He cooked, it's what he does. And he doesn't particularly like being surprised into dropping his knife when a teenage boy shouted his name, said boy narrowly missing the steak knife thrown at him by the blonde.

"What the hell are you doing sneaking up on me like that?" Sanji roared as Luffy tugged the knife out of the wall.

"What are you doing throwing knives at me!" Luffy retorted. "You're supposed to chop meat, Sanji, not me!"

Sanji took a deep breath and let it out again, calming himself down to a reasonable state. "All right then, what do you want? And it better not be more food because you just ate the whole damn reserve stock."

"I want to know about kissing."

Out of all the things he expected to come out of his captain's mouth, this was not one of them. He dropped his previous train of though to look at Luffy. "You want to know about... kissing?"

Luffy nodded. "Yeah, Nami didn't tell me anything."

Sanji's eyes grew hearts again. "Ahh, but my Nami-san can think of everything!"

"Not with this she can't!" Luffy told him. "I want to know what's the big deal wit this dumb kissing thing."

Sanji dumped the last of the leeks into the pot and began to stir while saying: "Well, Luffy, when two people are in love, like me and Nami-san, they have a special bond."

"That has nothing to do with kissing," Luffy stated.

"I'm getting there!" Sanji snapped. "Anyway, when people have this bond, they show it by kissing. This can lead to... other things."

"Like what?" Luffy asked.

"Um, I'm not sure I'm the one you should be asking about that," Sanji admitted.

"But I'm the captain!" Luffy said with a glare. "You need to do what I say!"

"Look, you brat, go bug someone else," Sanji said. "I have to finish lunch for the lovely Robin-chan and Nami-san. If you're lucky, maybe I'll make you something too."

"Will it be meat!"

"Sure, Luffy, meat."

"YIPEE!" Luffy shouted, bouncing out of the room."

"Simpleton," Sanji murmured as he added some spices tot he soup.

_Deck_

Usopp, goggles in place, was using pliers to carefully insult a small disk into a small, round black ball all about the size of a marble. His tongue was gritted between his teeth in utmost concentration, one eye squinted shut as to get better vision with the other. One wrong move and...

"HI USOPP!"

Wrong move.

The black thing instantly exploded, setting off a large cloud of black smoke in a small explosion, leaving Usopp with eyes wide in shock, pliers falling to the floor in his weakened grip; he saw charred black.

"Ha ha, you look funny like that!" Luffy said, holding his stomach in his laughter.

"SHUT UP!" Usopp snarled. "What are you doing sneaking up on me like that?"

"Why do you care?" Luffy asked curiously.

"BECAUSE YOU DON'T GO SNEAKING UP ON PEOPLE FOR NO REASON!" Usopp roared angrily, eyes bulging from behind the goggles.

"I just wanted to ask you a question," Luffy said, lips drawn out in a pout.

Usopp sighed heavily. "Fine, what is it? Are you here to talk with me about finally giving up your place and giving me the rightful position as captain?"

"No," Luffy said calmly. "And I wish you would stop asking."

"Hey, a guy can dream, can't he?" Usopp asked, shrugging.

"I wanted to ask you about kissing," Luffy said in a straight dead pan. "Everyones telling me all this stupid stuff that I don't need to know. All I wanna know is why two people would do something so stupid as stick their tongues down each others throat."

Usopp almost choked trying to restrain the laughter that threatened to explode from his throat at any moment. This was just too funny! But hey, who was Usopp to turn down the chance to corrupt the innocent minds of gullible people?

"Kissing is... a magic spell!" Usopp exclaimed.

"Wow, MAGIC? Seriously!" Luffy exclaimed, eyes growing wide.

Usopp nodded impressively. "Yes, magic. When you kiss someone, they are under your complete control!"

"Wow!" Luffy said. "So if I kissed you, you'd do whatever I wanted, right?"

"HELL NO!" Usopp shouted, scrambling back. "No, it only works if you like the other person a whole lot!"

Luffy blinked. "But I like you. You're a really good marksman."

"Not like a friend-like! You know, a like-like!" Usopp said. But he could have been talking to a banana for all the impact his words got.

"But this doesn't make sense!" Luffy exclaimed. "Then what' with the magic thing!"

"When you kiss someone you like, LIKE-LIKE, they fall in love with you!" Usopp said. "And usually it leads to... more things."

"More things like... what?" Luffy asked.

"You know, the whole birds and the bees talk thing," Usopp said mildly.

"You go and chase birds and bees?" Luffy asked. "Sounds dumb."

"No, no," Usopp said, shaking his head. "Err, the snake in the garden."

"You go and find a snake in a garden?" Luffy asked.

"No, you go for the big one!"

"A big snake?"

"NO!" Usopp shouted. "You know, doing the dirty tango!"

"A dirty drink?" Luffy asked.

"I GIVE UP!" Usopp shouted. He bent down and scooped up all of his equipment and lugged it off to the other side of the ship, muttering something about no one appreciating his true genius.

"Stupid Usopp," Luffy muttered. "No ones telling me anything."

He had asked, Nami, Sanji, and Usopp, the one he' been expecting to know the most. Chopper was a reindeer, he wouldn't know about the human kissing thing, and Robin was in town shopping. Sp who else could he asked.

And then it hit him.

"Zoro!" Luffy shouted, pounding his fist into his other palm. "Why didn't I think of this before! Zoro'll know for sure!" And with that he ripped off to the stairs that led down to the men's quarters.

_On a Hammock_

Zoro was sleeping peacefully, inhaling and exhaling in a steady rhythm with the rise and fall of his masculine chest. His three katana were leaning against the wall on the floor next to his hammock incase he should wake up and need to use them in an emergency. Like if that stupid chef tried to sneak up on him and dye his hair again.

But for the moment he was sleeping soundly. But not for long.

"Hey Zoro, WAKE UP!" Luffy yelled at the top of his lungs.

"ARGH!" Zoro cried in surprise, sitting bolt upright. "Luffy, what's wrong?"

"I wanna ask you something, Luffy said, sitting across from Zoro on the hammock.

"Damn it, Luffy, don't do that!" Zoro snapped, waiting for his heartbeat to calm down. He eyed his captain wearily who was looking at him with that cute expression on his face. His eyes were big and trusting as he stared at Zoro, and the swordsman could feel a small smile tug at his lips as he said more calmly, "What do you need?"

Luffy explained once again what he saw at the town with more detail then with the others. He knew that Zoro would listen to him all the way through without interrupting, and that's one of the reasons he liked talking with his first mate more then anyone else.

When Luffy finished, Zoro raised an eyebrow. "So what's wrong?"

Luffy crossed his arms and glared. "What's wrong is I need to know what the big deal with his whole kissing thing is!" Luffy exclaimed, arms gesturing wildly in the air to emphasize the statement.

"It's just something people do," Zoro said, lying back down. "It's no big deal."

"Yes it is!" Luffy insisted. "Nami said something about them actually liking it!"

"Well, I guess they did..." Zoro said cautiously, knowing Luffy could blow up at him at any moment.

"Sanji said something dumb like a connection or something!" Luffy went on. "Saying some crap about love or bonds or something."

Zoro blinked. "Well, I guess those two people did have a connection."

Luffy completely ignored him. "And then Usopp said something about magic, bees, snakes, gardens and dirty citrus fruits! None of them are getting it!"

To Zoro it sounded as if Luffy wasn't the one getting it.

"Zoro, can you tell me what's so good about kissing?" Luffy asked hopefully.

"Uhm, I'm not sure I can, Luffy," Zoro admitted.

"But you have to!" Luffy insisted. "No one's giving me my answer!"

"Luffy..."

"I just want to know why someone would do something so icky!"

"Hey, Luffy..."

"Everyone has all these stupid ideas I don't need and it's a bunch of shit!"

"Calm it down..."

"What's so wrong with wanting to know? I just have one question. What is so good about kissing?"

It happened so fast that neither one of them could have stopped it even if they tried. Last thing Luffy remembered was ranting and the next moment he was grabbed roughly by the front of his shirt and yanked forward. Now he felt a soft feeling on his lips.

Zoro didn't know what to do to answer Luffy's question, so to stop the younger man's rampage he had pulled Luffy's lips onto his own in a simple, chaste kiss.

Realizing Luffy was not pulling away, even adding a bit of pressure of his own, Zoro attempted to now show what was so good about what those people in the town were doing.

He lapped lightly at Luffy's bottom lip with his tongue, moving his hand from Luffy's shirt to the back of his head, pushing him further into the kiss. Luffy gasped a bit at the new feeling and Zoro took the time to slip his tongue into Luffy's mouth, doing a bit of exploration.

After a moment's hesitation, Luffy joined in shyly, not knowing what he was supposed to be doing. But that didn't matter much since Zoro was new to it too. All the swordsman knew was that he hoped this answered Luffy's question well enough. But he wasn't exactly minding the presentation.

Unfortunately, there's this annoying thing that people need to live called AIR so they did have to break apart a few heated moments later.

Luffy stared wide eyed at his first mate, breathing slightly faster then before out of breathlessness.

"There, hope that answered your question," Zoro said with a small smile, lying back down on the hammock. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going back to sl-"

He was cut off and far more surprised then he would have liked to be when Luffy shut him up by sealing his mouth over Zoro's again. Zoro didn't pull away, though. In fact, he pulled Luffy closer to him and responded more then happily.

Guess they learned something new today, eh? Hopefully they won't forget this, although there is no doubt that they won't. Speaking of learning something new...

Nico Robin walked down the hallway with shopping bags in her hands when she heard small moaning noises coming from the men's quarters. Frowning in confusion, she walked slowly to the doorway and peered around the frame.

She knew it. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise at the sight of the two men. This was... unexpected, to say the least. She always had the feeling Zoro was gay, but not Luffy.

Ph well, Shrugging, she turned around and walked back to her room. They were fine before, she was sure this wouldn't affect anything... too much. Who cared if she was following a captain who was as straight as a circle?

The two men in the room didn't care either, apparently, as they continued their further investigation of... Luffy's question.

Oh today was going to be getting better and better.  
_  
Done_

Me: Better and better, but I will not continue. I firmly stand against writing a yaoi scene so you can just let your dirty little minds wonder. Any reviews? Telling me my writing sucks and that I should just give up writing all together? Tell me please!


End file.
